Gerard Way and the Philosopher's Penis
by taylah-wright-it-down
Summary: It is year 2009 when suddenly Gerard and his lover, Frank, find themselves in Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Join us to witness the adventures that the pair face in their 7 years at Hogwarts!


Gerd and Frank we're skipping aLONG merly thru da park dey relised dat they were goffik emoz and goffik emoz do nowt skip bc that is wot fairys do. Gerd and Frak wee moshing hardcorely thru da grave graveyard (dat is much bettr) Gerd was pregnet with Fraks chyld. they had 2 haf a sirius tork because Gerard was not able to have chirdren due 2 a condishion he waz born with- gerd had a penis. Or did he? No. Gerd did not have a penis. But there was 1 problem He had hivaids or something insted. Haha "we need 2 do some thing about dis hiv gerd" sed frak Gererd agreded so they went to da majik skull of wizards and whiches 2 see if someone could fix all stds gerd had contracted thru his homosexual shenanigans while he waz in dat rly fam'es band – my chemical romances dey went 2 da hogwards school and found a healer at saint bananas hospital for magical malad? Salad? Something lyk dat idk. Dey found a healer her name was darkness syphilis majocus wentz. But there was 1 problem Gerd had partaken in various homoshenanigans with pete wentz, syphilises fathr so he sed no u can not heel me and u r not going 2 go anywhere neer my u-no-what. Instead they found another dealer his name was several snacks. He gayve (haha get it dumbass) dem sum poshuns 2 fix gerds ding dong which was named bam margarita. "where is bam margarita?" sed frank in a playful, horny, exotically sexual tone. [AN: it is not wut u think u fukn pervs!?21!] Bam was Gerd and Fraks frend of whom dey licked in a sexual WAY but bc bam wasn't gay he didn't want to partake in homoshenanigans with the couple so dey just named gerds penis after him so he'd alWAYs b der in spiret. #yolo There was only 1 problem. Geravd dident have a penis. They went to go find gerd a winky "where will be find a penis for u my honey bun" sed frsank in a worried voice because if Gerard didn't find a penis they wood not be able to have a family. There was still a problem; gerd was still mpreg. They needed to find a heeler 2 deliver his babe bc his water broke in da gratee haul so he waz going to give berth like reely soon! !1! They end up finding healer but there was a problem because she was a dead eater but gerd and frak didn't no dis yet and nor did frank. "thank u four midwifing me... *dum dum DUM!* belatrix LeSlag "its ok she sed with the looks of death" on her evil face! She also sed that they gave berth 2 a girl They chekd if it was actually a gerl "it is a gerl" sed frank and then gerd new thta bellatricks was telling the truth. lets name it thought Gerard so he told frank and they agreed that naming it would probs be a good ideer. "ana aluminiume" is wot dey agreed on (haha geddit but it gets better though don't worry) But there was one problem gerd and frank didn't like da fifty shades of gay boocks so they got relly sad but the plot thickened "abra cadarvizzle ma shizzle!1" shouted bella legstrange and she killed anal. Ded. Gerd and frak were not that sad though bc they dident lyk the fifty shades of greyth anyway and they were also really fukn insensitive like siriusly have u even lissened 2 3 cheers for sweet revege? Its relly meen!?11! "lets hav another 1 i have an idea" sed gerd in his stupid nej wersey acsent. Okay frank responded, resplendently. Gerd put on black skinny legth jeans, they were herm-own-ninnys (he stole them) a black lacey bra that perfectly cupped his perky DDs perfectly, and a mcr band tee. He put on some black slippers made of dragon skin, and a wooley scarf that ms weasely knitted him and a beanie from hot topick. He put on some fake tattoo sleeves 2 look reely sexy but he was afraid of needles. The tattoo sleeves had my chem. Lyrics on dem and unihorns. Fank put on black skinny jeans that he steal from gerd and a belt with black and white squares on it. He put on some sox that dobby the gobline gave him with some glittery pink hi top converse all stares shoes and a turtlesw neck. He put on a mcr tee with gerd on it on top of the turtle neck bc he didn't want 2 get cold. He put on a supersize strawberri flavered glow in the drako ribbed comdom with smiley faces all over it. The smile fayces strtched as he slid it onto his impressive gerth. They started taking eech others cloves off. Gerd didn't need a condemn bc he already had aids and a vagina. Dey made luv until gerd got preg agen. (*1 weke later( * Gerd was reddy 2 give berth (mpreg babies don't need 2 incubate for dat long) he went 2 his for poster bed in da hugglepuff commenroom and sat on it (lyk da way cats sit when theyre like half standing up?!)) and began 2 give berth. He covered his birth in blankets bc they wood still take a wile 2 hach. He put his placenta in a plastic bag and left it on the griffindoor table in the gr8 hall hahahah "frak i gave berth 2 for eggz" Frak was excite and pleaded with Gerard 2 go and chek on da egg. Dey both went up 2 the eggs and saw fall out boy standing there!? "wtf the fuck r u doing hear" said gerad rly angy, still flustered from his labourious labour. "we...we're...your..your...you're...child" sed fall out boy. And they were telling the truth; Gerard and frank actually conceived fall out boy. This was a good achievement bc now gerd had four penis 2 choose from. There was only 1 problem. Pete wentz was wearing black skin jeens, a black fob tee shit, some fluro wrist band, lacey fishnets, a fob hoodie, a wooly scraf, gluvs, aand a lip ring and sum tattoos. Pat was wering black skin jeens, a black fob tee shit, some fluro wrist band, lacey fishnets, a fob hoodie, a wooly scraf, gluvs, aand a lip ring and sum tattoos. Gerd and fank didn't care what the others were wearing bc they oculd alreddy tell that pat and peter were going to be their faovuites child. They killed the rest of fall ob and stole there penises. This was good bc this WAY they now had a spare the quest for gerds penis was compleat. He had skrew with frank to celebrate and pete and joined in on da homonanigans.


End file.
